Bad Meditation ?
I must admit sat here next to Buddha after a bad meditation session was kind of frustrating me, especially rerunning the session through my head.
But the more I have thought about it I shouldn’t use the word “bad” , I should try and remember that there is no bad meditation, just sometimes an agitated mind that is producing way to many thoughts that a single cat can deal with at one time.
“My first meditation teacher told me that there is no such thing as a bad meditation. He was right. During the difficult meditations you build up your strength, which creates meditation for peace.”
It has happened to me before now I reflect on it, so it really shouldn’t get me or anyone else down; it isn’t the first time and won’t be the last.
When my life has a lot coming up or happening I can often dwell on a thought way too much and then when I bring myself back to my breathing another few thoughts pop up and then whilst I try and bring myself gently back to my breathing there is a “hiss” in my inner voice, chastising myself for allowing my thoughts to rule me; and as soon as negativity starts come into play, your ego sees its chance to throw as many thoughts at you and enforce the feeling of failure.
Yet it wasn’t long ago that my meditation session would have stopped at this point, I would have uncurled myself and stomped out of the room, tail between my legs and first person I came into contact with would have had a cat swipe at their legs. Whereas today I let go of the negativity and again try to refocused on my breathing and by doing so my purr naturally came back to me. (This is nice for the humans as their legs can safely to walk past me this morning!!)
Mindfulness is a slow journey and it is sometimes only at these junctions do we realise how far we have come and what I can take away from this is that I am still too quick to chastise myself but at least now I see this and can deal with it by responding rather that reacting to my ego.
Any way now there is food to be eaten and stairs to be raced up and down. Until next time don’t just be awesome; be more awesome…..